


starless night

by faeryracha



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, ChanLix, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Star Tears disease but with my own twist, star tears disease, star tears trope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23911507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faeryracha/pseuds/faeryracha
Summary: Like Hanahaki disease, Star Tears is acquired when one has an unrequited love.and Chan has been inlove with Felix as long as he remembers.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	starless night

The wind on my back gives a little shiver on my spine. It was near to the end of April in the midst of spring where days are warmer and the nights colder. We’re lying underneath the skies listening to the classical music from numerous songs that you picked out in your playlist. Our backs laid out in the mess of assorted blankets you kept in your car’s trunk. A content smile dangles on your lips, and a pretty prayer within your eyes shone against the little light that watched the wind tickle the blooming flowers in your garden. Just like you the flowers bloomed in the most beautiful way, which felt like it was touched by a fairy, breathed into life by a soft caressing touch full of magic within the tips of gentle fingers.

The night was dark and it showed no light from the moon or the stars, and it did make the sky look a little bit empty. But unlike anyone who would think the sky is less pretty it didn’t matter because you were by my side.

Felix Lee, who’s his own star is lying beside me.

“The sky looks lonely tonight. I wonder where the moon and it’s companions went,” Felix whispers.

No answer came to said wonder. How can you tell that stars reside within thousands of bodies, and within me, and maybe even you?

I suppose if it did, it would’ve adorned your dainty face like the freckles sprawled across it. But I think It can’t be compared even if all the stars combined themselves. There was this magnificence in the way your freckles were designed. It was like constellations that could be seen in the skies were delicately imprinted on your skin. I could even tell Virgo’s constellation among the many of freckles on your face.

I can tell from your body language that even when a content smile made a passing earlier that your mind was occupied by troubling thoughts. I just know you so well that this little random rendezvous gave it away. The sense of having my company kept you from overthinking things and I was glad that you came to me with enough trust and comfort. It gave me the feeling that you still need me.

“What’s bothering you?” I asked.

A shy laugh emitted from you. It was the most pleasant sound and it would make any man’s heart flutter when heard. It was far from your usual low baritone voice, it’s softer, one that complimented your fairy-like features.

“I feel kind of stupid knowing it now, but I found him. And he’s been around me all this time. Can you believe it?” Felix asked.

I believe it. They say that we’re meant to be with someone, that another half of ourselves are somewhere out there waiting to be found. Just like how I found you, but you weren’t for me.

“It’s Changbin-ssi this whole time. For 2 years we’ve been together to realize only now. Dancing around each other, literally at that, and then suddenly he’s more than just a friend, you know? It’s new and scary. We’ve been friends longer than we realized,” he says a kind of fascination in his tone.

Changbin. I’ve known him longer than Felix did. Changbin was just the ideal guy for Felix. Even I, myself think the universe has made the perfect match. Changbin is headstrong, heart in the right places and goal oriented in anything he ever wanted in life. He had that same duality like Felix that I liked. Despite the dark look others would accompany him with he was also feather-like to the touch, soft and he liked to wear his heart out on his sleeve. He’s an overall great person. Besides Felix, he’s the next closest person I know.

“Of course, it’s going to be like that. He’s your _soulmate_. Things will shift but he’s still Changbin,” I said.

“Haha, silly! I still think you’re my soulmate, hyung. My other half, even if the universe said I have another,” he says. And I wish he meant it the way I did. But I knew better.

Silence took over as we laid there, naked to our vulnerable thoughts. Gaps in moments like this felt like eternity and I wished it would stay like that. Maybe I’d get to keep you longer.

“It’s scary, because I think _I’m inlove with him_ , Channie-hyung.”

And just like that it broke. A kind of white noise rang behind the back of my head. Tears that wanted to let loose caged in uneven contraction within my chest. I kept the beating of my broken heart within myself as I moved to get a good look on his face.

“He asked me to join him to go back in Korea. See if I would like it there,” Felix trailed off. Doubt seeping off his face at his own words, contemplating over the thought.

“He doesn’t leave in another eight hours,” I said. It felt like acid saying those words. Trying to encourage him to run to Changbin and take what I couldn’t have.

“I know…” he says. I felt a shift in his movement as he sat up.

“You think I should run to him,” says Felix. A new determination found in his eyes.

“We’re not in a movie Lix, take the cab for Changbin’s sake,” I blurted. Felix smiled a much more genuine smile this time. And it was worth it. Worth the millions of broken pieces of what’s left in my heart.

“I don’t know what I’ll do without you,” he says. _‘You’d be with him, that’s what you’ll do'_

Felix gets up in a hurry and grabbed his discarded jacket on the grass.

“When this whole soulmate thing works out, you’re hired to be my best man!” he says in his hurried state.

“I don’t get paid for that!” I shouted since he was already at the door to get out to his front porch.

He laughed. Maybe the last one I’ll hear from him in the meantime.

I watched him walk away. His back turned awaiting to be with the one he truly loves. The one he’s meant to be.

And that’s when I felt the tears fall. The tears falling in otherworldly ways.

The sign of unrequited love.

I remember it so clearly like it was just you and me. Under the same starless night, ears filled with intricate symphonies of your favorite classical music, during the bounty spring in your garden full of blooming flowers and the wind that made our otherwise warm body cold. I confessed to you.

To your sleeping form who fell asleep in the comfort of home within my arms. I confessed to you.

“I am undoubtedly, irrevocably, inlove with you, Felix Lee,” I whispered. I knew whatever dreamland you were in that you never heard what I had said. And maybe now I wish you did. That you knew even just a little.

It was also the first time when the tears started to fall, knowing I’m not the one you’re meant to be with.

Despite the first warning of the stars that fell from my eyes I continued to love you, even when I knew I am being heavily punished. But could the universe be anymore unfair? To give such punishment to someone who only loved despite the laws the universe has set for everyone? To fall inlove with someone you’re never going to be meant for?

To love Felix Lee, I have no regrets even when if the stars started to fall.

The tears kept coming and light surrounded me, every tear drop illuminating what the stars in the sky would have accompanied by a deafening kind of white noise. I did nothing to wipe the stars that keeps falling. Embracing the pain of the love I can never have. The sobs were painful as if I was crying galaxies from my eyes.

When the tears stopped falling and the pain started to subside from the acceptance of letting go, I felt the breeze of the wind wipe away the tears. The illuminating tears gone.

As my eyes set upon the night sky, it shone with brightness unlike moments ago. The sky is filled with the brightest of stars, one that I cried for you, I realized. It was the most beautiful sky I’ve seen in ages. Just like the love I have for you. I’ve given the moon’s companion the brightness it lacked and it reminded me of you. Your dainty face of filled with freckles just like the night sky right now.

“I wish you could’ve seen them brightly shine for you, Felix,” I whispered.

The last star tear fell from my eyes and landed on my wrist. Glowering with so much light until it faded within my skin. A tattoo of a name foreign etched in otherworldly writing.

I smiled. I’ve always thought it would never come. I traced the name etched on my skin and sighed. I’m still not over my broken heart. I don’t think the universe could ever take the love I have for you.

I gazed at the sky again full of the stars I cried for the love I will never have.

Under the same yesterday, my love always unrequited. I’ve lost. But now I’ve gained so much more.

I hope whoever this person is, he’s worth every star tears I’ve shed tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> so, i played with the idea of star tears and soulmates co-existing in this universe where you acquire star tears as punishment for not abiding the laws of the universe and the soulmate system. There hasn't been a lot of works around about star tears and I thought I should make one and just put a few twists. It turned out okay for me, I guess HAHAHA. 
> 
> \+ at the end Chan acquired his soulmate mark when he finally let's go of Felix. it was the gift from the universe from his suffering. I know it's kinda cruel huhu TTTT but I hope you liked it nonetheless. Thank you for reading :]


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